Did I say that 7am classes weren’t that hot? Did I say that I didn’t crave meat and was reaching for grains and beans instead? Well I take it all back because yesterday and today just made a liar out of me.
Yesterday, I craved a juicy cheeseburger for lunch. It was out of the ordinary but I remembered what many of you said/wrote. If your body craves it, just eat it. Usually, I don’t order a bun for the burger but yesterday, I wanted the works. Bring on the bun! Bring on the mayo, the ketchup, the everything! It was the best burger I had and if I wasn’t in the office, I would’ve licked my fingers after I was done. Yummmmm. Today, I was craving chicken tikki masala so after yoga this morning, I went to Whole Foods and bought some in the prepared food section.
7am with Alicia was hot hot hot! I went back to my usual spot in the room, front row towards the wall, where it is warmer. I encouraged The Husband to practice behind me since he usually practices closer to the window where it is cooler. By half moon, I was drenched. Whoa! The Husband went down during the floor series. As he lay in savasana while we did the poses, I looked over at him and saw that his entire face was beet red.
It was a mental struggle by triangle but I managed to convince myself to stay strong by saying, “Your mind will quit before your body. Just do it.” And I did. After triangle, some of my teachers say, “Let’s bring the heart rate down,” and we go straight in standing separate forehead to knee. Because I need to be different (note sarcasm), my heart rate jacks up! By tree, I’m breathless and I have to really focus on getting my breath under control. The mental struggle continued through the floor series and at locust, I was really trying to stay strong even though mind said, “Quit, quit, quit!” My left knee in fixed firm felt a dull stretching pain more so than my right knee, which never happens! And by the time we were done with the first set of camel, a wave of nausea hit me. I panicked and no matter how much I tried to calm my mind, it won in the end and I laid out for the second set. Today, I just couldn’t push past the wall of nausea. Just before head to knee stretching pose, I gulped down my water. And I did it again before spine twist. Yes, I must’ve pushed down whatever was coming up. A part of me dreads days 30-60 if these are the days that pertain to emotional healing. I wish I had BYC’s resolve. ::sigh:: I did the best I could today. No judgments. No attachments. Tomorrow is another day.