Spoke Too Soon

At the office.  I spend all day sitting down in front of a computer.

Day NINETEEN

Did I say that 7am classes weren’t that hot?  Did I say that I didn’t crave meat and was reaching for grains and beans instead?  Well I take it all back because yesterday and today just made a liar out of me.

Yesterday, I craved a juicy cheeseburger for lunch.  It was out of the ordinary but I remembered what many of you said/wrote.  If your body craves it, just eat it.  Usually, I don’t order a bun for the burger but yesterday, I wanted the works.  Bring on the bun!  Bring on the mayo, the ketchup, the everything!  It was the best burger I had and if I wasn’t in the office, I would’ve licked my fingers after I was done.  Yummmmm.  Today, I was craving chicken tikki masala so after yoga this morning, I went to Whole Foods and bought some in the prepared food section.

7am with Alicia was hot hot hot!  I went back to my usual spot in the room, front row towards the wall, where it is warmer.  I encouraged The Husband to practice behind me since he usually practices closer to the window where it is cooler.  By half moon, I was drenched.  Whoa!  The Husband went down during the floor series.  As he lay in savasana while we did the poses, I looked over at him and saw that his entire face was beet red. 

It was a mental struggle by triangle but I managed to convince myself to stay strong by saying, “Your mind will quit before your body.  Just do it.” And I did.  After triangle, some of my teachers say, “Let’s bring the heart rate down,” and we go straight in standing separate forehead to knee.  Because I need to be different  (note sarcasm), my heart rate jacks up!  By tree, I’m breathless and I have to really focus on getting my breath under control.  The mental struggle continued through the floor series and at locust, I was really trying to stay strong even though mind said, “Quit, quit, quit!”  My left knee in fixed firm felt a dull stretching pain more so than my right knee, which never happens!  And by the time we were done with the first set of camel, a wave of nausea hit me.  I panicked and no matter how much I tried to calm my mind, it won in the end and I laid out for the second set.  Today, I just couldn’t push past the wall of nausea.  Just before head to knee stretching pose, I gulped down my water.  And I did it again before spine twist.  Yes, I must’ve pushed down whatever was coming up.  A part of me dreads days 30-60 if these are the days that pertain to emotional healing.  I wish I had BYC’s resolve.  ::sigh::  I did the best I could today.  No judgments.  No attachments.  Tomorrow is another day.

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5 responses to “Spoke Too Soon

  1. "Your mind will quit before your body" – I'm taking that thought to the 8:15 tonight! Thank you!!!

  2. Hey John! Thanks for stopping by!Yes, that line is courtesy of one of my fabulous teachers. She always manages to say that line at precisely the right time just before the second set of camel. I could've really benefited from that line from her today. I may not have quit today like I did. I'm glad it will help you!

  3. Ah, but you do have my resolve! You're going everyday no matter what. You are taking the classes in stride, good or bad, and even after a nasty cold. You rock JoJo!

  4. Of course you've got a ton of resolve. Just take it day by day, and don't be afraid to ask for support. Some days we have all the will ourselves, other days we have to relay on other for support. Just remember all you have to do is show up and stay in the room, the rest is what it is.

  5. Thanks everyone for your encouragement!!!! It really means a lot even though I'm late in expressing it!

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