Can I Just Close My Eyes?

This is what I wanted to do all day!


It was a real struggle to get to 7am with Alicia.  Normally, once my head hits the pillow, I’m out.  Last night, my mind was buzzing thinking about the house we saw the day before.  After tossing and turning, I looked at the clock last night and saw that it was 1 am!  Four hours and 45 minutes before I had to wake up.  Great.

This morning, I snoozed a little longer than I wanted.  The Husband was not happy either.  We both didn’t want to get up.  But we had to because if we didn’t, there would be no yoga today.  Tonight, we are looking at the house again, this time bringing our family.  There we were, a disgruntled pair getting our things together in a more rushed manner since we snoozed longer.  Alicia was her perky self when she saw us walk in and out of politeness, we said hello and smiled.  I did admit to her that we were big grumps as I kicked my shoes off and let them lie on the floor in a haphazard manner and it took all my effort to fix them.  I didn’t seem to care.

There were 14 students in class and half of them were boys!  I’ve never practice where there are equal or more boys in bikram before today.  It was a different dynamic — not good, bad, just different.   Today in class there was a Guido, Gaston, and a Ryoko in my class.  I felt like I was in the UN.  😉

Anyway, I was NOT into bikram today.  In pranayama, my mind wandered around telling myself that it didn’t want to be there.  In half moon, it said that it was not interested in bending the spine in four directions and that stretching feeling I feel on my side is not fun.  In awkward, it was not happy going through all those poses and by eagle, I was falling out.  I was still feeling uninspired by standing forehead to knee although I stayed in the full expression of the pose on the right side.  In standing bow, I kept falling out and in the second set with right arm up, as I was down and parallel to the floor, I tried to kick up higher and I felt a pinching in my back, just below my right shoulder blade.  I grimaced as I fell out.  Whoa, what’s going on there?!?

In triangle left side, I was feeling the wonky stuff I’ve been feeling in my left knee.  I had to remind myself to use my elbow to push my left knee back to help protect it.  In fixed firm I couldn’t go down all the way in the first set because my left knee!  Whoa…the tightness was incredible and the stretching feeling was almost overwhelming but I reminded myself to breathe and relax.  I was able to go down fully in the second set.  Since class, my left knee feels like it has been stretched out like a rubber band that has lost its elasticity.  It doesn’t hurt but it feels like something is radiating out of it.  Not pain but something.  I just feel it.  Maybe I should ice it.

My right knee on the other hand is surprisingly fine.  In fact, it is doing so well that I was very happy in toe stand, right side.  I was able to balance on my foot and managed to put both hands up even for a slow, silent clap.  This my friends, is progress.  Wow.  When I first started bikram, I could only get my hands to the floor and barely bend my right knee because of the pain.  Heck, when I started bikram, bending my knee in wind removing pose and head to knee with stretching pose was painful and sitting on my heels Japanese style, fuhhgeddabout it.

And my upper back — whoa!  Sore sore sore!  Since I lack flexibility in my upper back, I feel soreness in this area every 5-7 days.  I know this is a good since as I hope my upper back continues to open up slowly and surely.

I am really loving camel these days – can you believe it?  Really focusing on keeping my chest lifted has changed the posture for me incrementally but it feels like a whole new posture.  I feel awesome doing it.  I’ll have to remember these peaks when one day I’m in a valley.  Besides camel, this was just another meh practice.  I guess there are just some days when I won’t be feeling inspired like today and the last few days.  I feel like I’m just slogging through right now.  I know this is just a phase that will pass.


5 responses to “Can I Just Close My Eyes?

  1. Yeah camel!! I am working on the same thing these days – using the WHOLE spine – and I think it is my favorite posture right now. 🙂

  2. Oh that sweet camel. 🙂 I agree focusing on opening the chest helps loads.

  3. I love how at different times we have different favorite poses in the sequence. I mean, they're the same 26 poses. And yet, some days, we just love 'em or hate 'em more.

  4. Ya, those classes where you are just slogging through and wondering "wth?" in half moon are not fun, but part of the process. Way to keep going! 🙂

  5. @ J & J — yes, camel!!! So awesome when it feels just right, doesn't it?@ Hannah — it is amazing. Same poses, different body, different mind, different day. It is truly a lesson in living one day at a time.@ BYC — slogging through I guess is necessary so that we can appreciate the days when we feel like rockstar yoginis!!!Hugs to all!!

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